致命的大错

   

"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10." 

   

"Qualifications: No education or experience." 

   

"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy." 

   

"My compensation should be at least equal to my age." 

   

"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC." 

   

"Fired because I fought for lower pay." 

   

"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" . 

   

"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date." 

   

"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near." 

   

"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately." 

   

   

打字错误与语法错误 

   

"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook." 

   

"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." 

   

"I am a rabid typist." 

   

"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981." 

   

"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work." 

   

"Accounting cleric." 

   

"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments." 

   

"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments." 

   

"Suspected to graduate early next year." 

   

"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets." 

   

"Proven ability to track down and correct erors." 

   

"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department." 

   

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details." 

   

"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school." 

   

   

不应有的幽默 

   

"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house." 

   

"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.) 

   

"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature." 

   

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse." 

   

"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company i